Today I was ruffling about in college preparations; figuring out student orientation and freaking out over tests, you know the usual. I have been thinking of college in the abstract, "Oh higher learning? Thats not tell next semester."
I fail to realize that next semester is three months and a week away exactly. I will leave in three months.
Leaving.
Los Angeles is my city. I grew up here, learned here, got exposed and cultured and fashioned very well wandering through it's crazy places. I think it is an ugly faded old city but it's mine because of the people. The people are not faded. I love my family and friends incredibly much! Leaving them for a place I know no one is bloody terrifying.
But whats more terrifying is my future that is trotting swiftly behind the act of leaving.
My life will never be the same.
I like to think of this change like doors. Up tell now my life has been like one of those really fun spinning doors they have at banks and fancy hotels. Any big adventure I had I would go through the big spinning glass door which I could see my family on the other side of and then I could always come spinning back to them through the two way door.
This college change is not a spinning glass door, it is one of those heavy thick doors that open from the inside but have no handle on the outside to get back in with. I'll push down on that silver handle and have to walk away once it closes behind me.
But, you know, it's going to be good.
i focus so much on what i am loosing that i forget what i will be gaining.
Knowledge, Wisdom, experience, new friends, new interests, freedom, responsibility. All these i am looking forward to because the Lord has promised good to me. He has promised me a future and way in this world greater then any I could scrape out for myself. This is part of His plan for me, so I am willing.
All my changing enthusiasm, The Bursty Blogger
