Where Can You Be Found?

There is nothing like emptiness. It feels as though right beneath your lungs there is a round hole. In that hole there are only echos of other peoples characteristics that you wish you had, retaining them in that hole doesn't work for you. There is still that emptiness filled with emotional slush. 

These are my feelings, but you know what? 

I am ok. 

Fine. 

Content. 

Able.

Ok.

I have felt this empty place before. This time it was a place I had hide my insecurities. I go through seasons of insecurities and then contentedness. This season I realized something, the reason for my ok-ness.

I am tired of being unhappy with myself. When the emptiness of jealousy and envy of the goodness I see in others comes upon me, I feel as though I am among the damned. It is hard to be around those blessed ones even if they are my dearest friends. 

God is not ok with that. He told me so. This is simply giving me a reason to nurse my obsession with myself. 

Fact:

I like myself a lot. 

I always have.

But to let that go wild is dangerous. So God gave me a way out. Give more and more of my precious self away at every opertunity. How do I do that?

Love everyone I can. And that includes God, himself. 

Learning will be involved in this. To give and pursue my friends and creator will be hard, but I think it will be fulfilling. and it will be a substance for my hole. 

“ One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others." - Lewis Carroll

And that's why I am ok. I am content in this. 

All my challenged enthusiasm, the Bursty Blogger.

A Mind For Flying

Do Not forget to celebrate! This is the new year!

!!!HAHA!!!

My previous post i realized had a tame sort of voice to it. I should be jumping!!

(I did by the way)

So I am telling you, all of you, to CELEBRATE!!

  Be happy! plan to fly away on the moon and dance to Frank Sinatra!

How about a good skate on an ice rink with your sweet heart? Or a trip up the coast on a train? 

There are endless possibilities for adventure in front of us!

2012! Wow!

I am excited!

Here, have all of me. I am feeling generous tonight. 

-The Bursty Blogger

Dawn of 2012

"May your coming year be filled with music and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or lives as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." 

-Niel Gaiman

This coming year is an year of looming change, greater change then I have ever experienced before. I know that many educated and soulful people have said never look backwards in life, but I think it is hard to remember what you learned and who you met if you don't look backwards every now and then. 

Some of my favorite photos from 2011:

My sister and i pulling a U2 pose on top of a mountain in Seattle, Washington.

Me in Seattle again finding wonderful wonderfulness in Elliot Bay  book company. 

My great friend Tiffany got married.

On the 2011 house boat trip with my youth group.

I visited Portland, Oregon for the first time to spend time with my awesome Uncle! Love that guy!

Mariel and I painted a mural for her birthday.

I rejected the 'Bieber Fever' Yuck.

Visiting University of Texas in Austen with my family.

My stellar circus performance!

Huge wind storm got Pasadena declared a disaster zone.

My friend Jessie and I at our youth group Fall Retreat. Snow!

There was hail in Los Angelas! It looked like snow!

I was turned into a zombie for a Halloween dance performance which went very well i might add.

One last dance of the year for my amazing dance team! We gave love to LA through our superior dance moves!

I think that it was a good year all and all but I am quite happy that it is over. I feel ready for a new twelve months of adventures!

The wilderness has yet to be explored!! Cah CAH! cah Cah! RAAR!!

All my expectant enthusiasm, The Bursty Blogger!

P.S. I have lots of hopes for this blog as well :) and hopefully we won't die.

Can I Have More and More of You?

Golly gee and Merry Christmas from California!!!

This was a blessed time of presents filling our material minds and food filling our bellies. But most of all it is the love of the Savior Jesus that fills our hearts. What a bouncy joyful thing! 

I think of hot mugs sloshing in my hands, overflowing onto my plaid blanket and giggles. Laughter is all around mixed with ripping paper and stars. Always stars. 

God was good to me and my family. 

Is there anything I can say to Him that saved me that will suffice for his ultimate sacrifice? No. 

Thank you Lord, for your Son. 

And for you, my flock of internet watchers, I love you. 

Man, I love Christmas. It is a kind of ache how I love it. Maybe it is more the idea of Christmas that I adore. If that is so then here are some christmas ideas for what Christmas is about.

Love!

Snow! This year My family and I were in Los Angeles so I missed the snow horribly.

Perfect Beauty.

Sending off some christmas cheer for distant lands. Have a safe journey little tree!

Christmas is about lights!

Presents!

More love!

 Pj's!!

Yummy meals!

Cozy-ness! I so wish I lived in that little glen. Someday I will have a cabin in the woods by a lake, like the Blue Castle!!

Yet more love.

Cute puppies! It actually is for me because I own two loverly dogs.

Oh, and this picture. I really think Christmas is about cute guys , scratch that, Ryan Gosling wrapped in lights. He has Christmas light around him!! 

Jk. 

Any whooooo, have a joyous remainder of your Christmas season!

All my festive enthusiasm, The Bursty Blogger

Urban Opera

When I think of art I think of these things:

Love

Peace

Happiness

Challenge

Frustration 

Joy

All are emotions I get while at work in my tiny art corner, which is an absolute hash right now. I was making ornaments for the jolly christmas season out of paper and wire and all sorts of messy materials that leave tiny scraps caught in my carpet. I have stepped on a needle or two from sewing stuff. It's CRAZY!!

But I love it!

A few months ago I was deep in the heat of applying for colleges. I have already shared part of my portfolio, I want to show another part.  

The University of Texas required a photo section of my portfolio but I rarely touch a camera, it is not in my instincts to grab one the moment I see a beautiful view or memorable moment. 

Anyway, for this project I used my sister's old thrift shop film camera. Then I took her, my best friend Mariel, and my sisters boyfriend, stuck them in weird costumes and took to the streets of my neighborhood to snap shots. 

They turned out so awesome!! Unexpectedly so because the sun went down so I thought they would turn out pitifully dark.  But here they are in all their glow-y beauty.

I give you, the Urban Opera!

The Curtain Rises

The Confused 

Visit to the Fortune Teller

Fortune Teller has Ulterior Motives

All is Revealed 

Standing Ovation

There you are. 

Thanks for looking!

All my creative enthusiasm, The Bursty Blogger

The Life of an Artist

It is frigid in my room. Probably because it has three windows facing north with no seals (sp?). Thats ok, though. Something about cool air on my skin makes me feel at home. Los Angeles has never fit my personality. That is what college is for. 
Amid these last weeks, all my frantic application writing and Nora Jones listening, I have produced from my hands and mind some fine art projects. I do not want to brag but I am marvelously proud of my late night plaster binges. 


Slowly over many of those binges a portfolio was produced. I sacrificed time and friend time for this portfolio. 

A Late Night of Tallis Davidson:

Me in my half awake slave to art state. Yuck. 

Sucker Punch is a great soundtrack to stay awake to. 

Modge-Podge and books. My saviors! 

Among my many creations there were my masks. Yes, I made masks. BE IN AWE!!!

This is the mask of the three fates of Greek Myth. 

This is the Mask of The Spirit of Light and Dance. I am so proud of the feathers, hehe!

This is King Crow: the Courier of the Dead. Morbid, I know, but I can't hide my dramatic side. This is probably my favorite of the three. It has carnage in it. What I mean is that I had to rip up my Romeo and Juliet book for this. IT'S BOOK CARNAGE!! I almost wept, I had never even thought of ripping up a book before. It was a sin, please forgive me. 

One Thousand Paper Cranes.

This is a tribute to 9/11. I know that is a bit cliche but I really do not care. 

When my family visited New York last year we stopped by the temporary 9/11 monument. It was a simple building beside the scene of the tragedy but inside it was an emotional exhibit of the incident. What struck me most was the thousands of paper cranes that Japan had sent over.  They were beautiful. 

So this sculpture is a collapsed building with paper cranes flying out of it, freed.  I hope you like it. 

 I hope you like my art, it is for you. 

Thank you. Here is my enthusiasm, The Bursty Blogger