We had happy days and better nights

I wish life was a bit more colorful, right now school is the point around which my life centers. Math and literature homework is piling up and I have not yet gotten used to the fact of a subject demanding my time other then art, art of my own choosing. But there is joy always, it is not hard to find. Just look around a bit.

#1 - The Weepies. Always so mellow yet so hopeful. Their music is so perfect for depressed evenings spent hunched over a desk with geometry questions spread out before you. School is not so bad but it gets you down sometimes.
Look at this and try to say they are not adorable!

#2 - This is for humors sake. Have you seen this TV show? It is so campy! It is like the mother of all campy, cheesy, non confrontational, anti-climactic shows. But it is that crappy awesomeness that you cannot stop watching. Haha! It makes me laugh just to think of it.

#3 - Dockweiler Beach. Well, actually, any beach would do. In the day time they are hot and fiery, good for swimming. But at night, thats when the sky turns a blushing cheek to the sun; as it sinks below the edge of the world it tosses a teasing wink at his morning mistress.
After the fiery goodbye to her lover the sky sleeps with this night light below her.
We went to the beach yesterday to enjoy a bonfire yesterday. We muddled around the beach before the sun said farewell; we spit cherry pits and ate tomatoes. When the sun was gone we lit the fire and played football. We smiled back at the silver grin in the night sky. In other words, we had fun. I cannot wait for the summer to come so we can do it again.

A foreigner outside a window

I remember when I thought 'wisdom' a large word. I was short then, and infused with all sorts of charming antics that made adults remark on how cute I was. There was little in the world to trouble me; a scrapped knee, a lost toy, or a denied sweetie were enough to set my world rocking on its foundations. But what was that? Was that innocence? foolishness?

No, it was the reasoning of a child. A woman I know once told me that growing up is like looking through a window. When you are young you can only see the tops of trees outside so thats all you know. As you grow you realize that there is more and more to see outside that window tell you can step right through it. I am barely tall enough to peek over the window sill; I can not totally understand everything out there.

Something that is outside that window is wisdom. It is growing up tree trunks and entwining with rose thorns, it's thrusting spindly white roots deep into soft soil. It is there, outside. I see it now and it seems bigger then when I was little. There is so much of it out there, and the taller I grow the farther down I see its roots extending. Simply listening to adults and friends talking or reading a book causes realizations to burst in my brain.

One realization that has graced my being is that wisdom is entirely different from knowledge.

"Wisdom is not finally tested in the schools, Wisdom cannot be pass'd from one having it to another not having it, Wisdom is of the soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof." - Walt Whitman

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." - Marilyn vos Savant

Wisdom does not belong to the mind only. It seems to be a soup of morals, knowledge, open mindedness, and a ton of other factors not related to simply studying from books. Wisdom can be had everywhere! Ounce I found this out I have had an amusing time listening to random conversations in restaurant booths behind me and crowds in the streets.

You see, I am finding out how to sail a ship in a crowded sea. I am just a fool looking for a way to mean more to this world then an artist scribbling on papers. I have a feeling it will take awhile.

Inspirations of someone else

So in my many reading expeditions I have found an abundance of talented illustrators who's art I adore. They can capture a scene just right with the perfect shading and lines. But none have I yet to discover that rivals my affection for Keith Thompsons art. He is one of the greatest illustrators I have yet to see. Of coarse that is just my opinion, but i will not budge from it!

I found him while I was reading a novel by Scott Westfield. It is an easy but entertaining read, I would have read the other books in the series. They just wouldn't have been on the top of my extensive book list. When I saw the pictures I knew I was going to be a devote follower of this book. I just needed, in some way, to own this mans art. Gah! He is so talented!

The first book is Leviathan and the second is Behemoth.

These two pictures are from the second book in the series which I am currently reading and enjoying thoroughly.


These three are from Leviathan. Mr. Thompson works mostly with pencil, charcoal and erasers. It's no wonder he inspires me so much because those are my favored medium to work with. I just want to yell or somehow express myself vocally when I see his art but I can't. My sister laughs at me when react to one of his drawings, I usually end up flailing and saying "oh my gosh" and "It's not fair!". It is fair because he probably worked very hard to get this good. It makes me want to work hard too.

More please!

Her is more of Keith Thompsons art work. This art is so good! He can draw creepy things that are quite frightening but none the less superbly done!

This one, labeled The Scribe, is my favorite. a million stories jump into my head at the sight of it! Beside everyone of his pictures on his website Mr. Thompson writes a little story. This one is very intriguing!

So cool!
Another of my favorites, The Guardpost, it's story is quite fictionally pleasing! I love it!
The Mollusk Tree. So creative!

Whatever...

I don't know what to write.

Lately I have become such an introvert. When I got this big drawing table for my sixteenth birthday I rearranged my room. Now I have this corner that is dedicated entirely to art and my crafty side. This is awesome except now I do not want to leave my room . I feel like one of those hermits in movies that everyone thinks is a witch until the main character finds that they really have this amazing totally normal talent. I mean, I would feel like that... if everyone thought I was a witch. Maybe thats not such a great example. Oh well, who cares.

My sister is in my room at the moment doing embarrassing dance moves to get a reaction out of me. Those who know her can probably picture it rather well.

Well, I think thats all the randomness I can come up with.

bye ;)

A factual guide to feelings irrational

Alright, beware I am going to go all God crazy and spiritual beliefs on everyone just about now. I warn you I do not mean to offend anyone because I have no idea what, exactly, is about to come tumbling from my mind. If I do offend, that is your problem because I clearly stated I don't mean to offend. Don't take anything personally. This is what is on my mind now, so here it goes.

I must say, I am unsure as how to start. Maybe just being truthful would be best.

For the past couple weeks, me and God have not been on the best terms. I felt alienated from His presence. Every time I endeavored to stay quiet and listen for Him I felt so distracted; I would start thinking of friends or a movie that I had not seen in so long and I should probably vacuum my carpet, it is looking rather covered in dog hair, etc. etc. I felt as though God was so far away that I could no longer touch or feel Him in my life. I had not felt Him in so long, what was I doing wrong? Was He angry at me? Every time I prayed I would feel like He couldn't hear me. I felt so alone and I felt like I had no one to talk to, I felt frustrated, sad, isolated. I felt, I felt, I felt.

Did you notice that? All those "I feel..."s?

Well, I didn't until God finally had to smack me with His words. He, not very politely, informed me that I was being a self-centered whinny twit who was so concerned with how I felt that I was missing the facts of Him. Feelings and emotions had so infested my mind I could think of little else. My feelings would show me nothing, He said. Feelings could not inform me of Gods plan for me or anything else that would contribute something of value to my life. And they would defiantly not tell me any truths.

I am a teenager and strong emotions come naturally to my peers and I, but that is no excuse. No matter how emotionally prone you are, which is immensely in my case, wisdom and common knowledge can always be called upon to overcome those irrational thoughts. Even if it takes an insult from the God on High.

After this happened, I felt lighter. Conviction and grace had descended upon me at ounce. It was a lovely realization. Patiance comes more naturally now that annoyed feelings can just go hang themselves. Kindness and tolerance have first pick of my actions. Others centeredness is a lovely thing. Self-conciouse fears cease and freedom reigns supreme!

Of coarse, I will stumble and fall many more times. I am not perfect and I will never claim to be; if I do, I give anyone full permission to smack me as hard as they see fit. Ironically, lately my greatest stumbling block is over-emotional people who rely on feelings instead of thinking to figure out their feelings. Hypocritical, no?

It is very hypocritical, but indulge me for a second.

To think that just because you do not have a boyfriend at this moment in time dose not mean you are "unworthy to be loved." I mean seriously. Come on! With more then the majority of your life ahead of you that kind of thinking is just demented! We are teenagers. Yes, it is nice to have someone to speak your mind to and hold hands with, but being without one is not going to kill you. It will not mark you as "unlovable" or curse your love life for eternity. I am getting worked up. I do not want to offend but this is an occurring emotional instance that grinds my nerves to a pulp thus making it hard for me to find sympathy for the teen who is going through this.

But to that I am called time and time again. Some of my dearly beloved friends are having these thoughts and are seeking me out to talk about it. Dang it, God, You want me to get over this pet peeve don't you? Well, please guard my words.

Please, do not mistake my meaning. Feelings should never be stifled or purged from your life. They are essential to many experiences in life. Expressing yourself would be impossible without them. Many great masterpieces of music and art would not exist if their creator had no feelings or emotions. Falling in love would be incredibly difficult. And living a life without any intense passion for someone or something would be a life not fit to live! It would be like living John Lennon's Imagine world; which would be horrible, by-the-way. Ahem, I am getting ahead of myself, that is a topic for a future post.

Anyway, all I am trying to say is that God has revealed Himself, in the Bible and personal experiences, to be a logical God within the realms of Himself. I say this carefully because it is not very logical to many people to believe in something you can neither see, touch, taste or smell. Oh, how little those people know.

Let logic and facts be a guide to know Him more fully, feelings can not usurp the role of His Voice efficiently in your life. I pray my attempts in this won't turn into a sinners hash. God is the way and the truth and the life. How can a human feeling beat that? Only from facts can true emotions be born. Feel those and rejoice in Him who bestowed them.

"I shall live for ever and ever and ever!"

Well, The Secret Garden has come and gone. After I finished it I held my do-not-read-for-the-remainder-of-the-day fast. It is my way of saying thank you and goodbye to a book that really struck deep or was just fabulously written; this book was both.

It was just perfect! The delightful child characters developed and progressed naturally and smoothly. Frances Hodgson Burnett must have got along splendidly with children; she captures their play and attitudes superbly. It is no wonder when she was the mother to two boys. I felt like I was with them as they planted and tended the garden.

The adults in the story were wonderfully thick as well. By thick I mean full and completely developed so they seemed like three demential humans that had more to them then you, as the reader, could see. Oh! it was genius!

The story starts in the winter and when I started it we were in the throws of a Wyoming winter. As we drove toward CA the weather warmed as it did in the book. I was enchanted!